The Early Days Are the Hardest
Those first few weeks and months are brutal. The person you turned to for everything is now mostly out of your life.
The home you made together can feel foreign and empty. You'll re-live old memories and arguments in your head, driving yourself crazy with the "what ifs."
The best advice? Let yourself feel it all for a while. Cry until you can't anymore. Scream into a pillow. Write it all down to get it out of your head.
But then, little by little, try to refocus your energy on taking care of yourself.
Streamlining the Process
While divorce may never be truly "easy," there are ways to make it somewhat smoother to get through. One option that can help minimize conflict is pursuing an uncontested divorce.
In an uncontested divorce, you and your partner are able to come to an agreement on all of the major terms. This includes division of assets, debt allocation, and child custody if applicable.
You both work together to hammer out a fair settlement that you both can live with. The biggest advantage is bypassing all the heated courtroom arguments and lengthy legal battles.
To pursue an uncontested divorce, you’ll need to hire a divorce lawyer. Interview a few uncontested divorce lawyers and find one who you trust to look out for your interests.
Finding Your New Normal
As the dust begins to settle, you'll need to create a "new normal" for yourself. Whether you have kids and a career on top of everything or not, reorganizing your daily life is vital.
Lean on friends and family, start a hobby you've always wanted to try, and look into therapy or divorce support groups.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself! You're a warrior going through one of life's toughest challenges.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
After divorce, those first several months to a year can be excruciating at times. But eventually, the heavy dark cloud started lifting. You will now start remembering the spark that made you who you are.
You can then start living for yourself again. Realize that you are going to be just fine. One day you'll wake up, take a deep breath, and know you've got this.
Bottom Line
Divorce may at times be messy; but also liberating and hopeful when you make it through the storm.
The process should not bring anyone down, but to let you know that your feelings are valid. You’re not alone, and there is indeed light at the end of this tunnel. One step at a time, you've got this.
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